Articles

First Weeks

We Asked, You Answered: What was the Best Advice you were Given during your Breakup?

The world feels like it is falling out from under you, but you will be ok, and probably happier than you have been in the last 12 years.  "Let yourself feel everything."  “Get a good lawyer and let them do their job!”  "Get all the support you can find including...

How Do I Pay A Lawyer’s Retainer Fee If My Spouse Controls the Money?

Alyssa Ann Rower Family Law Attorney, Rower LLC alyssa.rower@gmail.com Q: How do I pay my lawyer's retainer fee when my spouse controls the majority of our money? A: This is a good question and one that arises fairly frequently. Most divorce attorneys in New York City...

Time Stands Still

It was Day Eight of being home with our newborn. I sat on my colorful, checkered chair under the big window in our apartment. I wore a black nursing tank top that was wet with breast milk, a girdle-like belly wrap, high-waisted maternity leggings, and bare feet. My...

Getting Through It: A Story About Fashion

Sometimes, the oddest things can get you through The first weeks after our decision to separate, I walked around in a stunned, anxious limbo.  I moved through the necessary parts of each day-getting kids to school, buying groceries, visiting the doctor, the lawyer,...

The Purge Splurge: Getting Rid of his Stuff

We all know the old caveat about home renovations and marriage,  but I am the only woman I know whose husband moved out the very same month we moved into our newly fixed -up place!  In some ways, this made things easier (for ways in which it didn’t, see HANDYMAN)....

Coping

Don’t Twist My Lug Nuts (or How to Really Change A Tire)

Tire tricks for solo travelers Summer is here, and for those of us traveling the highways as women alone, or alone with kids, its good to be prepared for the unexpected. Since my husband moved out, I've had three flat tires, er, make that three opportunities to learn...

Clear Your Shed, Clear Your Head: 5 Steps to Reclaiming your Space

Start by setting a deadline. Need a push?  Commit to host something: a clothing swap, a school function, a book group, a family reunion or a mom's night. Set the date far enough in the future so you have the time you need to get the job done. Call in some help:  If a...

A Second Look at the Vicious Cycle of Divorce

I am one of those children of divorce who grew up only to get divorced myself.  It is the typical sad story.  But then why am I so happy? My parents divorced when I was five.  I don’t recall much, other than a hazy impression of my mother arguing with my father while...

Guest Post by The Divorcierge: Get A Grip on Your Money!

Growing up I was always figuring out ways to save my allowance and have my parents pay for items that ‘should be covered’ by someone other than me. I became a master at saving up for that ‘rainy day’ watching my money grow little by little. When I was finally on my...

Divorce and the Family Car

Starting this week, I’m in hiding from Audi financial services. They’re coming after me, I know, because I’m on the lam with their property; their 2010 Audi A6  wagon to be precise. I was supposed to turn it in two months ago. I would never do this to Avis or Hertz,...

Parenting

Don’t Be The Toxic Parent This Season

Do You  find yourself doing any of the following? Make your children choose between you and your ex? Argue with the other parent in front of your child? Use your child as a messenger or mediator? Speak badly about the other parent to a relative, friend or...

Co-Parenting- Get it In Writing!

Divorce is it’s own difficult but necessary ordeal to go through when a marriage no longer works. Add kids to the mix and there is a whole other layer of decisions to go through. While divorce is final, parenting is an ever-changing landscape that ties you to your ex...

Giving Power Back to Parents

The majority of couples who choose to settle their divorce outside of litigation - whether they do so in mediation, Collaborative Law or a more traditional, out-of-court negotiation - are motivated to avoid litigation by a concern for how it could impact their...

Talking to your Kids: 6 Pointers

The following comes from Jean Kunhardt M.A, LMHC and Lisa Spiegel M.A., LMHC, the directors of  Soho Parenting, an invaluable resource for families in Lower Manhattan: Simple and Honest: Telling Your Children About Separation Telling your children that you are...

New Love

Excellent Excerpt: What Is Love? Love Is An Action

Excerpt from Susan J. Elliott's Getting Past Your Breakup When I’ve asked my clients, seminar students, and my blog readers what is the single most helpful thing I’ve said to them, “Love is an action” is in the top three on most lists.  It’s what you do, not what you...

We Asked the Founders of a new Dating Website for the Inside Scoop:

Unlike most online dating website and apps, Coffee Meets Bagel was founded by women.  They are  three sisters, in fact, who set out to create a more female friendly website that advertises quality not quantity.  CMB offers only one, carefully vetted match proposition...

Got Questions on Post-Marital Dating? Ask Ursula Knot!

Dear Ursula, My new boyfriend and I get along fine, I guess, but our pheromones don't. I like his body, I just don't like his smell. I especially don't like the way it kind of sticks to me after we've spent the night together. What's the deal with pheromones anyway?...

Q&A with Dating Night speaker, Barbara Ensor

Meet Barbara Ensor, artist, writer and intrepid dating night panelist. Barbara has big eyes, a blond pixie and can always be spotted in a crowd because she is never without a brightly colored pointy wool hat and usually a bright woolly wrap to go with. Her look is...

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Thank you for creating a safe space for women in the different stages of divorce to share, support, and learn from each other. For many of us, there is no community to turn to for support. Of course, our friends and loved ones reach out to comfort us, but connecting with others going through similar experiences is invaluable.

Rochelle

I got my lawyer through UNtied! I was totally clueless about collaborative divorce before going to one of your panels. UNtied saved me a lot of time, pain and money. Eternally grateful!
Nancy

At a moment when I was in complete shock, stunned and had absolutely no idea how to proceed, it was enormously comforting and helpful to have a group of brilliant women to turn to, each of whom had suggestions, and stories. Knowing you are not alone is big!
Liz