Articles

First Weeks

So, You Got the House! Three First Steps to Keeping it (Standing)

Phew. Except, now you are the only one responsible for not only making the payments on it, but for keeping it up! And we’re not talking about sweeping the kitchen floor.  We’re talking water heater, boiler, roof flashing, gutter cleaning, pest prevention, and...

Who should be on my “divorce team”?

I’ve hired my divorce attorney. Who else, if anyone, should be on my “divorce team”? Many divorces will go from start to finish with only divorce attorneys involved. Other cases benefit from the expertise of other professionals. From our perspective, there’s no right...

10 Pre-Divorce Moves Every Woman Should Make

When I realized I was facing divorce 8 years ago, I knew that I needed to take action and had big decisions to make. But I was the first in my social circle to split and had no friends to turn to for advice or even a good attorney referral. That led me to start...

What You Need Now: Women Share their Tips for Getting Through the First Weeks and Months

A lot of us describe the very same feeling.  In the weeks following a crisis, life slows down.  Suddenly the very air around you changes to some other viscous substance.  Reality becomes so heightened it feels like there is space between the seconds.  Every color...

The Purge Splurge: Getting Rid of his Stuff

We all know the old caveat about home renovations and marriage,  but I am the only woman I know whose husband moved out the very same month we moved into our newly fixed -up place!  In some ways, this made things easier (for ways in which it didn’t, see HANDYMAN)....

Coping

The Hard Work of Getting Back to Work

One of the low points during those first post -split weeks came on a Friday afternoon when my twelve year-old came home from school with his pals. He announced that they would be staying out as late as they wanted that night.  When I said no, he puffed himself up,...

Clear Your Shed, Clear Your Head: 5 Steps to Reclaiming your Space

Start by setting a deadline. Need a push?  Commit to host something: a clothing swap, a school function, a book group, a family reunion or a mom's night. Set the date far enough in the future so you have the time you need to get the job done. Call in some help:  If a...

Can You Buy a Divorce for the Cost of a New Vacuum Cleaner? The Down and Dirty Divorce

I learned for certain that our marriage was on its way to extinction when I came across a memo to my husband referring to his recent contract with one of New York City’s most infamous divorce attorneys. After picking myself up off the floor, I figured I had no choice...

The Hobby That Helped Me Through

Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, if you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free. - Rumi At first it was simply a fun distraction, but it grew to be a passion that helped me love being in...

Financial First Steps Event with Michelle Smith

Check out this snippet from our Financial First Steps Event with Michelle Smith.

Parenting

Giving Power Back to Parents

The majority of couples who choose to settle their divorce outside of litigation - whether they do so in mediation, Collaborative Law or a more traditional, out-of-court negotiation - are motivated to avoid litigation by a concern for how it could impact their...

Don’t Be The Toxic Parent This Season

Do You  find yourself doing any of the following? Make your children choose between you and your ex? Argue with the other parent in front of your child? Use your child as a messenger or mediator? Speak badly about the other parent to a relative, friend or...

Co-Parenting- Get it In Writing!

Divorce is it’s own difficult but necessary ordeal to go through when a marriage no longer works. Add kids to the mix and there is a whole other layer of decisions to go through. While divorce is final, parenting is an ever-changing landscape that ties you to your ex...

Talking to your Kids: 6 Pointers

The following comes from Jean Kunhardt M.A, LMHC and Lisa Spiegel M.A., LMHC, the directors of  Soho Parenting, an invaluable resource for families in Lower Manhattan: Simple and Honest: Telling Your Children About Separation Telling your children that you are...

New Love

Excellent Excerpt: What Is Love? Love Is An Action

Excerpt from Susan J. Elliott's Getting Past Your Breakup When I’ve asked my clients, seminar students, and my blog readers what is the single most helpful thing I’ve said to them, “Love is an action” is in the top three on most lists.  It’s what you do, not what you...

We Asked the Founders of a new Dating Website for the Inside Scoop:

Unlike most online dating website and apps, Coffee Meets Bagel was founded by women.  They are  three sisters, in fact, who set out to create a more female friendly website that advertises quality not quantity.  CMB offers only one, carefully vetted match proposition...

Q&A with Dating Night speaker, Barbara Ensor

Meet Barbara Ensor, artist, writer and intrepid dating night panelist. Barbara has big eyes, a blond pixie and can always be spotted in a crowd because she is never without a brightly colored pointy wool hat and usually a bright woolly wrap to go with. Her look is...

Got Questions on Post-Marital Dating? Ask Ursula Knot!

Dear Ursula, My new boyfriend and I get along fine, I guess, but our pheromones don't. I like his body, I just don't like his smell. I especially don't like the way it kind of sticks to me after we've spent the night together. What's the deal with pheromones anyway?...

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Thank you for creating a safe space for women in the different stages of divorce to share, support, and learn from each other. For many of us, there is no community to turn to for support. Of course, our friends and loved ones reach out to comfort us, but connecting with others going through similar experiences is invaluable.

Rochelle

I got my lawyer through UNtied! I was totally clueless about collaborative divorce before going to one of your panels. UNtied saved me a lot of time, pain and money. Eternally grateful!
Nancy

At a moment when I was in complete shock, stunned and had absolutely no idea how to proceed, it was enormously comforting and helpful to have a group of brilliant women to turn to, each of whom had suggestions, and stories. Knowing you are not alone is big!
Liz