You know how whenever you arrive in a city for the first time, the zone around the train station or the bus station is almost always the ugliest and least welcoming? When you are young especially, and visiting a city for the first time, it is easy to get discouraged, depressed or scared and want to leave immediately.

Post marital life is a little bit like arriving by train or bus in a new city for the first time. It can be dispiriting, even shocking on your first glance. But you know you came here for a reason. In the strange city, you buck yourself up, grab your suitcase and push on. You start by taking out your map (discreetly if need be) or asking the most benign looking stranger for directions.

Eventually, you will take this city by the horns, see its best sites, taste its fine foods, and walk its prettiest streets. Ultimately, you will discover the restaurants, museums, side streets that you like best.

Think about your new life as that new city. It has many charms. Garner your courage, lean into your curiosity and go search them out. Try them, taste them, and give them a listen. Make sure to hunt out all the things you want to know. And of course, be sure to connect to and learn from the people who live there. That is the only way to let this city broaden you, deepen you, strengthen you and enrich you. As the traveler in you already knows, that is the only way to discover the city you may very likely come to love.