Reframing Shame in Divorce,
A Workshop with Mindy Walder –
The experience of separation and divorce is almost always attended by some degree of shame. It might be sparked by one’s reckoning with years of mistreatment or deception. It might be triggered by guilt over behavior that may have led to the breakup (ie. an extramarital affair, drug use, etc) . Shame often enters the picture when the relationship breakdown that was once private, at least within the confines of the family, suddenly becomes public. Given the common perception that divorce is harmful to children, shame is often amplified when children are involved.
Shame and healthy self-esteem cannot co-exist. Shame keeps us locked in self-contempt and negative self-preoccupation. It can leave us feeling defective and unlovable. Self-esteem is by definition the capacity to value ourselves, to see ourselves as lovable in the face of imperfections and mistakes.
In this two hour session, we will deconstruct our relationship to shame in order to drain its power over us. Through a series of exercises, we will take a look the roots of shame in our respective lives and the ways it has influenced our behavior up the present. We will also summon two of shame’s most powerful antidotes, Curiosity and Empathy to help free us from the conditioning that gave shame an emotional foothold in the first place.
Sunday, November 13
12-2 PM ET, via zoom
Members may use code for discount.
Mindy Walder, MS, CDC, is a trained counselor and life coach. After years working with adults and adolescents, in Brooklyn, NY and Pennsylvania, she went through her own divorce. Currently living in Los Angeles, she now focuses her practice on working with individuals navigating divorce and other life transitions. She is committed to helping her clients navigate divorce with dignity, agency and calm.